In the scene, the Oracle looks at Neo. She looks above his shoulders and asks "Do you know what that means? It's latin. It means know thyself."
When I watched that movie when I was 13, that part resonated with me. I took it to heart and always made sure I discovered myself as much as I could. Over time, I have taken that to a degree where I have stopped myself from doing things I know I would enjoy.
That sounds bad at first glance but when you have an addictive personality, you attempt to protect yourself from potentially altering your lifestyle whether it be in a good, bad, or indifferent way. This includes partaking in activities and events I would thoroughly enjoy. For example, the only reason I have not learned how to surf is because I know I would want to do it year round and push the limits. Knowing that, I have stayed away and just stick to body surfing for the time being.
So when I started to get in shape to do my first triathlon, I stumbled on the book "Ultramarathon Man" by Dean Karnazes and got introduced to the world of Ultra Running.
Ultra running is simply any distance greater than the marathon distance of 26.2.
To give you a quick summary of the book, Dean starts ultra running on his 30th birthday and runs 30 miles. Dean hasn't ran since he was 15. He just decided to run 30 miles for his 30th birthday because he felt his life was stagnant. He was suffering from a mid-life crisis and did something about it. So after he recovers from torturing his body for 30 miles, he starts training and then he mistakenly discovers ultra running races and decides to give it a try.
Throughout the book, you relive his first 50 miler, 100 miler, and the toughest race on the planet: Badwater. And through his experiences, I was enamored and inspired to do start running ultras myself.
Now, when I started doing triathlons, I was in the worst shape of my life. I was intimidated by doing a sprint distance so even thinking about running over 30 miles when I haven't even biked that distance or even finished a half marathon (at that point in time) was way out of the picture.
However, the seed had been planted. I knew that I would eventually do one.
So when my good friend Jason told me he was doing one and ended up not doing much training, I started to gain interest. I had just come off a very disappointing race in Timberman where I gave up so I wanted to punish myself in a sense since I was mentally weak and the majority of any ultra marathon is going through mental struggles.
It didn't take much convincing.
I signed up for the Blues Cruise 50k in Reading, PA held at Blue Marsh Lake three weeks before the race began.
The longest distance I had run by that point: 15 miles.
I'm ready.
So when Jason, Buggey, and I lined up at the starting line, none of us were ready. We were all ill-prepared...to put it lightly. So we planned to stick together, walk the uphills, take our time at the aid stations, and offer support to each other.
The gun goes off and it's a pretty cool scene. Just under 400 runners with full of energy and wearing water backpacks, handheld water bottles, and/or fanny pack endurance kits running together on a mostly single track trail to better themselves on a fall Sunday.
The morning was perfect for running. Since Hurricane Joaquin did the polite thing and went out to sea, the air was still cool from all of the rain and it was overcast with temperatures around the low 50s.
Perfect...simply perfect for running.
At mile 6, Jason, Buggey, and I were talking fantasy football and enjoying ourselves as we continue to embark on our journey. Then, when we crossed a bridge, all of us simultaneously starting screaming in pain. Buggey was in mid sentence when he started to yelp. We start slapping the back of calves and knees with hands of fury to stop this immediate pain. After a few slaps, I look down to see what the hell is going on. A yellow jacket bee was stinging me. I slapped the bee off but the stinger was still stuck in my skin. I pulled out the stinger and assessed how Buggey and Jason were doing. They were both wearing high socks and I guess the yellow jackets could give a shit about that. Jason ended getting stung around 8 times.
This is the first time I have ever encountered a yellow jacket. I have always heard that they are super aggressive and that aggressiveness increases when you disturb their hive.
Now, all of us are in pain going forward. Like we needed to up the pain meter at all.
Around mile 8, the pain in the run started to settle in my quads and calves. 23 miles to go. This should be interesting.
At the aid station at mile marker 10, a change of landscape occurred in the course.
The first 10 miles was relatively flat and easy going. There was barely any elevation change and the course is supposed to pack just under 4000 feet of climbing. Oh boy...we are only getting started.
Well, right after we stocked up on some goodies and got our water bottles filled up with Gatorade and water, the hills hit us hard. Now, it helps us greatly when you are power hiking and not running, but these hills are on a slope percentage of 20% so it is no easy task. We worked the up hills and utilized the downhills to our advantage. We took our time and made sure we didn't expend too much energy while utilizing what the course gives us. Taking advantage of anything that becomes available is vital to us finishing well.
At mile 12, something weird happened. The pain burst onto the scene but in a unique way.
Pain entered into all parts of my body. The nervous system was acting on overdrive but this was different. Something I have never felt before.
The pain felt good. Really good. The serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins were flowing freely and it put me in almost a euphoric state. So, I went with it. I locked into this comfortable pace and started moving. Over time, Buggey and Jason's voice start to soften and before I knew it, I couldn't hear them anymore. I quickly looked behind me and they were nowhere in sight. I wasn't planning on doing this and it was my intention to stay with them but I locked into this mode and rode it like a wave. I didn't want it to end.
This is the epitome of masochism. I had never felt like this before and I never wanted to go away. It felt incredible to be in such pain. There is no other way to explain it. Logically, I know I shouldn't enjoy being in so much pain but I did.
This naturally induced drug high lasted until around mile 20, where the race really started and the pain was the only thing that remained. At this point, this is the farthest I had run since I did the marathon in the Ironman over three years ago and I still had 11 miles left to go. This is also where the toughest part of the course was. There was zero flat sections. I was either going up or down and even though I was power hiking all of the uphills, it still hurt. A lot. My hip flexors, calves, hamstrings, quads, and my meniscus were screaming at me. What started to hurt the most was the downhills, which should be my best friend but since my meniscus were so tender, that any pressure from going downhill gave me tremendous amount of pain. I tried to manage as best I could and put the pain out of my mind.
At mile 25, I thought about doing a 50 miler and how depressing this mile marker would have been with the pain I was feeling and knowing I was only halfway to the finish. I gained more respect for that distance.
Thank God I only had 6 miles left.
Every mile started to become my mission. I started to stare at my GPS watch more frequently, rationalizing every move I made.
Just get to the last aid station.
Just get up this hill and take your time on the downhill.
One step at a time.
After I stop and eat some delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at the last aid station (mile mark 26.5), I thought I hit the jackpot. The course became flat, wide, and on grass. Plus, with just loading up on some calories at the aid station, it gave me a energy boost. I started moving at a decent clip.
I look down at my watch and observe I am moving at an 8:15 pace which 27 miles in, I thought was pretty impressive.
I started passing people left and right and each pass giving me more energy and confidence going forward. The pain that was plaguing me before became a distant memory. If the last few miles are like this, I will finish way above my original time.
Jason, Buggey, and I thought we would be around 6 hours. Then, when I broke off and looked at my pace during the half way point, I knew I would break six. At around mile 25, it became apparent that I would break 5:45 unless something catastrophic occurred. When I looked at my watch just as I heard my GPS watch ring the 28th mile in, breaking 5:35 seemed to be insight.
Then...mile 29.
The last two miles was completely uphill and it destroyed every bit of confidence and energy I had. All of the pain came rushing back and I hit a terrible low. I didn't want to be out there anymore. Everything hurt and all I could think about was "I could be at my friend's house watching football. Why the fuck did I do this?!? I wanted to quit so badly and just walk my way to the finish. I just wanted the pain to stop. Every step hurt more and more and tears started to appear in my eyes.
One step at a time.
This is why you signed up for this. To feel extreme pain and push through it.
I power hike the tough uphills and run when it is feasible.
Then, appeared the finishing area.
I saw Jason's parents and wife and couldn't be happier to see them. They were great to come and support us and fantastic at finding multiple points to see us and cheer us on. They have no idea how much that means to us. It's a great power boost.
A smile comes across my face because I am too tired to do my usual Dragonball Z power up finish scream.
I cross the finish line at 5:41:49 and 109th overall.
I am humbled and invigorated by the race and distance. It did exactly what I needed it to do.
I needed to fight through pain and push harder to get through it.
I needed to be humble by what real pain feels like, not perceived pain.
I needed to connect again in why I do this. I had lost my way.
It did all of this and more...now I am addicted to ultra marathons and looking for more.
Know Thyself
