Note: Part of this post is a little dated...
Unless you are living under a rock, it has been ridiculously hot out. I can't remember a summer where it was this consistently hot out. Come to think of it, maybe living under a rock is a best practice in this recent heat. It has been so hot that this week is considered by trustworthy meteorologists to be a "cool" week (Average Temperature this week: 86 degrees, does not include humidity). But hey, tomorrow's high is 77 degrees. I may have to put on a sweater.
Needless to say, the heat sucks. It's uncomfortable, sticky, depressing, tiring, and constant. And that's if you are just standing in it. Imagine biking and running, or just shooting some hoops in it. The heat becomes magnified. Your body temperature rises exponentially causing the sweat glands to open and pour out salt water to cool the body down while you continually perform arduous tasks. The body desperately tries to cool your body; it works so hard that it burns an amazing amount of energy sucking every bit of nutrition and water you supplied yourself hours prior to activity. Your mind chimes in, begging you to stop. "Please find a cool place. Stop doing this to yourself. It's not worth it," are just a few quotes rattling off second by second.
Now, comes the realization that this has been going on for the first two miles of a 13.1 run in a half ironman. It's 12:30, meaning it is only going to get hotter. Plus, you previously swam 1.2 miles and biked 56 miles. How would your mind handle it?
Mine failed stride by stride.
This is painfully cheesy and poetic but I can't help myself sometimes:
In the blazing light of the sun, you soon find yourself in total darkness.
I couldn't get over the heat constantly burdening my every step. I tried at every aid station to cool my body but it will never be enough. I didn't train in the heat consistently which is out of my control but I can train my brain. Mentally, I was a mess. I couldn't only think about quitting. I had already accepted defeat. Just couldn't get past the reality of 11 more miles while trying to average a 7:45 mile and climbing up and down hills. I couldn't do it. I wasn't strong enough. My body was fine. At mile 9, my body was even telling me to pick up the pace. It couldn't handle walking up the hills anymore. It was done going at this terribly slow pace. A 1:40 half-marathoner humiliated down to a 2:15 half marathon in a World Championship Qualifying race. I am pretty sure Michael Jordan would be laughing at me hysterically if I ever told him this story. I quit on myself. I accepted defeat. All because I didn't wrap my mind around the heat.
I couldn't escape the darkness.
Everyone was struggling in that race. Everyone was dying. It was the golden opportunity to push through and destroy the competition. I had a shot and failed. I wasn't strong enough.
Now, I am training in the heat non-stop. My body hates me every time I go out there in the middle of the day attempting to tackle the sun and humidity. And I am not doing this to get my body adapted to the heat. I just want to dismantle my demons because when you run in heat, your mind goes to dark places. Places you are not ready to visit if you haven't take the time to face them. Places so loud, they can be deafening.
I mentioned in my last post about not using the true stories told by Dean Karnazes and Scott Jurek. Two Ultramarathoners who face greater adversity than I could ever comprehend. Both run 135 miles races in Death Valley....in the middle of July...where it has been recorded to reach a World Record high of 134 degrees. A place so hot that your shoes literally melt when you run on top of the asphalt (the only way shoes don't melt is if you run on the painted white line).
I have used these stories to inspire me. Stories and lessons I have used to overcome adversity. I forgot them when I needed them the most. Karnazes stated continuously that pain is a good thing. "If you are in pain, then you are doing something right." Scott Jurek became the best ultra marathoner ever because his ability to block out and pain. Jurek was so focused during a race that he crushed a rattlesnake with one of his strides and he didn't miss a beat. He discovered later that he killed the snake when his pacer told him moments after.
With every future step I take in the heat, these are the things I will never forget. I failed to realize the simplicity of balancing positive and negative thoughts. I focused only on the negative in Syracuse and couldn't escape my own demons. I even tell people "if you can run in this weather, than you can run in anything." How useful is that quote if I don't practice it myself?
Darkness can point out the voids in your strengths making your best qualities almost irrelevant and in that rare moment, it is up to you to fill that void with perseverance and strength. Then, your strengths become stronger and your weaknesses become obsolete.
I forgot that...
Additional Notes:
This is two posts in the past three that I have reffered to Scott Jurek and Dean Karnazes. I strongly recommend both of their books. Even if you don't run, their stories are extremely powerful. So strong, you're convinced they are fiction.
Here are the two titles:
Ultramarathon Man by Dean Karnazes
Eat and Run by Scott Jurek
Monday, July 22, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons I Run
Here is a link to one of the funniest, yet most accurate accounts on why we, runners, do what we do. It is a six page comic book illustrated and written by a gentleman named Matthew on his website The Oatmeal. It has hilarious takes on all accounts runners expiration through there respective trials and tribulations. Hey, it may even inspire you to run yourself.
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running
There is very little that I disagree with (Actually, I fully disagree with his input on Page 3...its actually the opposite...for a lot of runners but I digress) and it's amazing how much all of us runners have in common. So please, click the link and enjoy.
Even if you are not a runner, you will enjoy this
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running
There is very little that I disagree with (Actually, I fully disagree with his input on Page 3...its actually the opposite...for a lot of runners but I digress) and it's amazing how much all of us runners have in common. So please, click the link and enjoy.
Even if you are not a runner, you will enjoy this
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Race Report: Ironman 70.3 Syracuse
This is a race report from my last race: Ironman 70.3 Syracuse. I hope you enjoy as I am about to rip into myself.
The goal of this race was to break 5 hours and qualify for the World Championship in Las Vegas on September 8. Even if I didn't break 5 hours but qualified for the WC, it would be an extreme success. I broke 5 hours earlier this season, but just barely (literally by 3 seconds) and understood that this was a more difficult course with hotter temperatures to contend with but as I found out through the race, I was unprepared for a lot going into this race.
The Swim
From reading previous posts, it is clearly evident, swimming is my weakest link... by far. I have recieved coaching and talked with a plethora of swimmers at the gym on how to improve but I simply cannot breakthrough. However, I have greatly improved since I have started doing triathlons, so I was banking on my training to mark that improvement.
First off, that swim was longer than 1.2 miles. With this being my 7th half ironman and hours of training in the pool, I have a pretty good grasp on the length I am swimming and that swim was not 1.2 miles. The course was laid out in a rectangle, my favorite (I hate the triangle configuration...don't ask why) but the width of the rectangle was longer than it should have been, by feel alone, I would have guessed the swim was about the distance of 1.35 or close to it. Nevertheless, I finished the swim at the time of 39:00, which isn't terrible by any stretch of the imagination.
My good friend T-Money finished seconds before I did which was simultaneously pleasant and irritating.
Onto the transition and the bike...the race has started!
Transition 1
When the volunteers (excellent as always) ripped off my wetsuit, my timing chip was nowhere to be found on my left ankle... lovely. One volunteer looked and felt my swimsuit to see if the timing chip came off during the strip. No luck....brilliant. So I had to go to the race director and recieve a new timing chip. Add about a minute or two to my time. This is going really well. Stay positive! Onto to the bike!
The Bike
This is my strong point and this is where I am going to make up the time I lost in the swim.
Right in the beginning, I passed Tom and wished him good luck in the rest of the race. Now it is on to business.
Now, I have already rode this bike course so I felt comfortable riding hard and strong. On the contrary, I forgot a lot. The first 12 miles was completely uphill, which I remember fondly, but I considered the rest of the way to moderately easy and able to hammer through. I was dead wrong. For the first 35 miles of the bike portion, the course never let you get comfortable. At any point, I did not feel confident that I was making up any time. Continually looking at my GPS watch repeatedly reassured that confidence. I wasn't gaining any time. I was actually losing time. What was wrong? Did I not train hard enough? I am very good with my bike workouts including interval training and long, hard rides. I even did my infamous HillCrest repeats (anybody who lives in Central Jersey understands the relevance of how difficult that hill is). I was hydrating properly with water and Amino Vital Endurance. I executed each aid station with perfect precision (each aid station was expertly and excellently placed), so why was I doing so terribly?
The answer was simple: I greatly underestimated this course. I assumed I would average 22-23 mph throughout the course but the terrain suggested otherwise. I was able to catch up some time in the last 21 miles but couldn't only a muster an average speed of 20.3 mph equating to a total time of 2:43 for the bike. Respectable, yes, but I expect better.
The Run
Look how excited I was to finish the bike and start the run:
After the bike, I was ready to run. In the transition area, quickly changing, I felt good. I felt ready.
By this time, I accepted I would not break 5 hours unless I ran a 1:30 half marathon, which would be a personal best, but I still think I could qualify for the World Championship. Within the first two miles, I knew I was in trouble. I was averaging an 8:00 mile pace when I usually average a 7:45 pace. The negative thoughts immediately started to trickle in. Did I really not train hard enough for this race? More negative thoughts start flooding my brain.
I am nothing. I should just quit. You never push yourself when you need to. This is like basketball all over again (a story for another day). I am just not good enough.
Then the real truth set in.
It was 90 degrees, high humidity, high U.V. index, and no wind. I have consistently trained in weather at least 10 degrees cooler or more. I was not prepared for this type of heat and it destroyed me. Everytime I tried to pick up the pace, my body temperature started to rise exponentially. Everytime I charged up a hill, the heat charred my body even more. It became brutal. Every aid station started to become a lifeline. I desperately was trying to cool myself with sponges, ice down my shirt, cola, powerade, shot bloks, and water. It worked for a half mile after nourishing myself as best as I could and then it all went to hell. I ended up walking every hill. I could barely break 9 minute miles. I was being extremely humbled by the race course.
My father and wife-to-be were in attendance and I felt so ashamed of my running. Heading into lap 2, I apologized to them for my performance. Both gave me love and support in leiu of my condolences, which felt great for about two minutes, but then, it went back to s***.
This picture sums up how I felt throughout the run.
I ended running a 2:15 half marathon (embarrassing) and finished with a total time of 5:44. My worst time since my first 1/2 Ironman, 4 years ago.
This is how badly the race went:
I coouldn't even get any love at the finish line. When it rains, it pours.
Conclusion:
Sometimes you just need to be humbled. Eating a piece of humble pie can be distasteful, yet necessary. I felt so confident entering into this race due to my previous success and continued improvement in each performance, but something had to give.
Of all of the questions I ask and negativity stated, all hold some sort of truth.
I didn't fully quit, but with the power of hindsight, I could have pushed myself through the heat and completed a 1:45 half marathon to finish with a total time of 5:13. This would have been much more respectable and would have given me a solid opportunity to qualify for the World Championship. Even if I didn't qualify, I would have moved up 20 positions in my age group and over 160 positions in the overall field. Huge difference.
I diseased myself with negative thoughts and couldn't find the strength to power through. I forgot previous lessons learn from earlier races and books of I have read. Stories from Dean Karnazes and Scott Jurek became lost memory when I needed to use them the most. I failed myself. It wasn't the day to set a personal record, but that shouldn't stop me from having a good day.
I will use this as fuel to propel me in my next race: Ironman 70.3 Timberman in Gilford, New Hampshire. My confidence and ego is definetely bruised, which isn't a bad thing since I have had a good run of races over the past 2 years. I needed to be knocked down. Not that I ask for this, but it was defnintely something that was going to happen eventually. Now, it is up to me to respond. Got to put in the work and continue to push myself.
Additional Notes:
Congratulations to Tom Holowka for finishing his second half ironman.
Congratulations to Jason Cosma for setting a personal record in his second half ironman. He beat his previous best by 20 minutes on a course that was tougher than Providence, RI and in much harder conditions. Well Done!
This was my first race with the Specialized SHIV, courtesy of Knapps Cyclery in Lawrenceville, NJ. It was the only positive I can take from this race. It was superb. The real improvement was in two areas: uphill and on flatland. The uphill is more impresiive as TT bikes are not known to be good climbers. However, with the aid of the UTI system, the electronic gear system was seamless in each hill I tackled, giving me the strength and cadence to attack the next obstacle. I look forward to riding with this new weapon in my future races.
Thank you to my sponsors: Knapp's Cyclery, Amino Vital & TGIFriday's for all of your support.
Photos Courtesy of Rachel Misenko
The goal of this race was to break 5 hours and qualify for the World Championship in Las Vegas on September 8. Even if I didn't break 5 hours but qualified for the WC, it would be an extreme success. I broke 5 hours earlier this season, but just barely (literally by 3 seconds) and understood that this was a more difficult course with hotter temperatures to contend with but as I found out through the race, I was unprepared for a lot going into this race.
The Swim
From reading previous posts, it is clearly evident, swimming is my weakest link... by far. I have recieved coaching and talked with a plethora of swimmers at the gym on how to improve but I simply cannot breakthrough. However, I have greatly improved since I have started doing triathlons, so I was banking on my training to mark that improvement.
First off, that swim was longer than 1.2 miles. With this being my 7th half ironman and hours of training in the pool, I have a pretty good grasp on the length I am swimming and that swim was not 1.2 miles. The course was laid out in a rectangle, my favorite (I hate the triangle configuration...don't ask why) but the width of the rectangle was longer than it should have been, by feel alone, I would have guessed the swim was about the distance of 1.35 or close to it. Nevertheless, I finished the swim at the time of 39:00, which isn't terrible by any stretch of the imagination.
My good friend T-Money finished seconds before I did which was simultaneously pleasant and irritating.
Onto the transition and the bike...the race has started!
Transition 1
When the volunteers (excellent as always) ripped off my wetsuit, my timing chip was nowhere to be found on my left ankle... lovely. One volunteer looked and felt my swimsuit to see if the timing chip came off during the strip. No luck....brilliant. So I had to go to the race director and recieve a new timing chip. Add about a minute or two to my time. This is going really well. Stay positive! Onto to the bike!
The Bike
This is my strong point and this is where I am going to make up the time I lost in the swim.
Right in the beginning, I passed Tom and wished him good luck in the rest of the race. Now it is on to business.
Now, I have already rode this bike course so I felt comfortable riding hard and strong. On the contrary, I forgot a lot. The first 12 miles was completely uphill, which I remember fondly, but I considered the rest of the way to moderately easy and able to hammer through. I was dead wrong. For the first 35 miles of the bike portion, the course never let you get comfortable. At any point, I did not feel confident that I was making up any time. Continually looking at my GPS watch repeatedly reassured that confidence. I wasn't gaining any time. I was actually losing time. What was wrong? Did I not train hard enough? I am very good with my bike workouts including interval training and long, hard rides. I even did my infamous HillCrest repeats (anybody who lives in Central Jersey understands the relevance of how difficult that hill is). I was hydrating properly with water and Amino Vital Endurance. I executed each aid station with perfect precision (each aid station was expertly and excellently placed), so why was I doing so terribly?
The answer was simple: I greatly underestimated this course. I assumed I would average 22-23 mph throughout the course but the terrain suggested otherwise. I was able to catch up some time in the last 21 miles but couldn't only a muster an average speed of 20.3 mph equating to a total time of 2:43 for the bike. Respectable, yes, but I expect better.
The Run
Look how excited I was to finish the bike and start the run:
After the bike, I was ready to run. In the transition area, quickly changing, I felt good. I felt ready.
By this time, I accepted I would not break 5 hours unless I ran a 1:30 half marathon, which would be a personal best, but I still think I could qualify for the World Championship. Within the first two miles, I knew I was in trouble. I was averaging an 8:00 mile pace when I usually average a 7:45 pace. The negative thoughts immediately started to trickle in. Did I really not train hard enough for this race? More negative thoughts start flooding my brain.
I am nothing. I should just quit. You never push yourself when you need to. This is like basketball all over again (a story for another day). I am just not good enough.
Then the real truth set in.
It was 90 degrees, high humidity, high U.V. index, and no wind. I have consistently trained in weather at least 10 degrees cooler or more. I was not prepared for this type of heat and it destroyed me. Everytime I tried to pick up the pace, my body temperature started to rise exponentially. Everytime I charged up a hill, the heat charred my body even more. It became brutal. Every aid station started to become a lifeline. I desperately was trying to cool myself with sponges, ice down my shirt, cola, powerade, shot bloks, and water. It worked for a half mile after nourishing myself as best as I could and then it all went to hell. I ended up walking every hill. I could barely break 9 minute miles. I was being extremely humbled by the race course.
My father and wife-to-be were in attendance and I felt so ashamed of my running. Heading into lap 2, I apologized to them for my performance. Both gave me love and support in leiu of my condolences, which felt great for about two minutes, but then, it went back to s***.
This picture sums up how I felt throughout the run.
I ended running a 2:15 half marathon (embarrassing) and finished with a total time of 5:44. My worst time since my first 1/2 Ironman, 4 years ago.
This is how badly the race went:
I coouldn't even get any love at the finish line. When it rains, it pours.
Conclusion:
Sometimes you just need to be humbled. Eating a piece of humble pie can be distasteful, yet necessary. I felt so confident entering into this race due to my previous success and continued improvement in each performance, but something had to give.
Of all of the questions I ask and negativity stated, all hold some sort of truth.
I didn't fully quit, but with the power of hindsight, I could have pushed myself through the heat and completed a 1:45 half marathon to finish with a total time of 5:13. This would have been much more respectable and would have given me a solid opportunity to qualify for the World Championship. Even if I didn't qualify, I would have moved up 20 positions in my age group and over 160 positions in the overall field. Huge difference.
I diseased myself with negative thoughts and couldn't find the strength to power through. I forgot previous lessons learn from earlier races and books of I have read. Stories from Dean Karnazes and Scott Jurek became lost memory when I needed to use them the most. I failed myself. It wasn't the day to set a personal record, but that shouldn't stop me from having a good day.
I will use this as fuel to propel me in my next race: Ironman 70.3 Timberman in Gilford, New Hampshire. My confidence and ego is definetely bruised, which isn't a bad thing since I have had a good run of races over the past 2 years. I needed to be knocked down. Not that I ask for this, but it was defnintely something that was going to happen eventually. Now, it is up to me to respond. Got to put in the work and continue to push myself.
Additional Notes:
Congratulations to Tom Holowka for finishing his second half ironman.
Congratulations to Jason Cosma for setting a personal record in his second half ironman. He beat his previous best by 20 minutes on a course that was tougher than Providence, RI and in much harder conditions. Well Done!
This was my first race with the Specialized SHIV, courtesy of Knapps Cyclery in Lawrenceville, NJ. It was the only positive I can take from this race. It was superb. The real improvement was in two areas: uphill and on flatland. The uphill is more impresiive as TT bikes are not known to be good climbers. However, with the aid of the UTI system, the electronic gear system was seamless in each hill I tackled, giving me the strength and cadence to attack the next obstacle. I look forward to riding with this new weapon in my future races.
Thank you to my sponsors: Knapp's Cyclery, Amino Vital & TGIFriday's for all of your support.
Photos Courtesy of Rachel Misenko
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)